I Dont Want To Parent Today

My Petit Canard family picture

For those that have ever wondered what the day of a stay at home mum sometimes looks like this is one of them.

Little Lady: mum I’m hungry, can I have something to eat.

Me: can you get dressed first like I asked you to (its 2.30pm in the afternoon so this is a very reasonable request).

Little Lady: but im hungry now. I want to eat first and then get dressed (she said that at breakfast, I should have known then and I definitely should know now that the child has no intention of getting dressed).

Having literally put the baby down for his nap I am desperate to sit down for five minutes so concede and set her up with some snacks, at which point the baby starts to cry upstairs demanding my attention right now. Seriously?!

These are the days that I don’t want to parent. When I feel like I can’t parent. There are days when you are absolutely smashing it as a parent, and those days feel great. You blitz through the laundry and the cleaning. You stay on top of the snack requests. The baby naps like clockwork and you even manage to squeeze in and arts and crafts session or get everyone out of the house and go somewhere fun or educational or both – go you! You feel like a Kim and Aggie and Martha Stewart all rolled in one. On those days you think yes, I’ve got this. I can do this parenting thing, and actually im quite good at it. High five to me!

Then there are those days like today when everything just feels on top of you, everything is going wrong and you feel a little bit like screaming. or crying. or both. I think its called frustration. Frustration that I can’t sometimes get my toddler to listen to me. Frustration that I can’t even get the most basic of housework done and frustration that I can’t sit down for five minutes, which I don’t think is a lot to ask from my children given that I look after them all day.

Then in a split second I feel torn, and ungrateful. It’s incredible how conflicted parenting can make you feel. Because I feel like I should be enjoying and feeling grateful for every single second of maternity leave, because I know that in six months or so I will be back at work and wishing that I was still at home with these two little people. But I also know that’s just not realistic.

Being at home with two little ones some days is absolutely soul destroying, and on other days it is the most wonderful thing and I absolutely love it. So what is my whole point of this ramble if you made it down to the bottom of the page? Well firstly it’s that I’m having a bit of a rubbish day and secondly its to say to anyone else that is having a rubbish day or does have one (or some!) in the days and weeks to come that its ok, its normal and it’s just part of this whole rollercoaster that we call parenting.

Best of Worst
Cuddle Fairy

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  1. October 12, 2016 / 4:28 pm

    Such a lovely honest read. Having one of those days myself actually. Little girl is being ever go well behaved and we managed to get dressed today but that’s about it. I suck at anything else. But hey, you’re doing a great job 100% of the time, because you are there. Whether that’s during tantrums, tear, a snack melt down…it’s life and you are owning it everyday. Lovely realistic post #bestandworst

  2. October 12, 2016 / 8:39 pm

    This post made me smile and cry all at the same time. Beautifully written #BrilliantBlogPosts

  3. October 12, 2016 / 9:07 pm

    So true! I’m a SAHM and it really is a story of 2 halves. You have the highs and the lows. It is not possible to enjoy every minute, but real love is carrying on even on the tough days. Keep going! You can do it #BrillBlogPosts
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  4. October 12, 2016 / 9:31 pm

    I just said on my blog today that I was having one of THOSE weeks. We all have them and it is comforting to know that we are not alone. Hope today is a better day!
    Jessica recently posted…Teriyaki Chicken and Rice Lettuce WrapsMy Profile

  5. October 13, 2016 / 3:48 am

    I so get it. Some days I wonder – why the hell am I doing this? Then they turn around and do something super cute or nice and I can’t stay made at them.
    PS: my 2 y.o boy got new batman pyjamas and never want to get out of them. all day he will say – no I bitmin (can’t say batman!) sometimes I just trick him and take them off when he’s not expecting it ๐Ÿ™‚

    • October 13, 2016 / 3:49 am

      PS: #brilliantblogpost ๐Ÿ˜‰

  6. October 13, 2016 / 6:30 am

    The ups and downs are literally like a rollercoaster, aren’t they? The bad days are pretty awful and the monotony can be soul destroying, but a smile and a cuddle instantly wipes it all that away! If it’s any consolation, it gets easier when they’re a bit older and can do more for themselves (but not too much, as we still want to feel like we’re needed, right??) ๐Ÿ˜‰ xx

  7. October 13, 2016 / 1:48 pm

    It is such a conflicting emotional job being a parent. Absolute love and sometimes despair go hand in hand. I hope you have a better day tomorrow, We have all been there. #brilliantblogposts
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  8. October 13, 2016 / 1:51 pm

    I am sitting here with just a newborn as my eldest in nursery and these days I know are so much easier. We all have those bad days when you just want to scream but usually they are few and far between. I much prefer days when we are all out but with a tiny one they are unpredictable and just getting out is so hard!! I really admire full time SAHM/Ds. Hope all better now and thanks for sharing with #bestandworst
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  9. October 13, 2016 / 4:39 pm

    I certainly have those days where I feel like I am smashing it but they are few and far between. Most days I want to parent and not be a full-time worker trying to juggle life with a child with special needs, but most days I feel like I don’t parent as well as I could.

    Great post #BloggerClubUK

  10. October 13, 2016 / 7:49 pm

    So true… I also feel a massive conflicting some days! Sometimes its tough and other days its a friction’ breeze! Great post… <3

  11. October 16, 2016 / 9:43 pm

    I definitely have days like this, sometimes I wish I could just have 5 minutes to have a cup of tea and relax without having to worry about anything! #KCACOLS
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  12. October 17, 2016 / 5:54 am

    I think the worst is not getting a sick day! #marvmondays

  13. October 17, 2016 / 6:04 am

    It must be such a roller coaster ride being at home full time. I only did it with the first two during Maternity leave and while I loved every minute I do remember the soul destroying days too, it is such a relentless job yet the most rewarding job in the world too. #MarvMondays
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  14. October 17, 2016 / 6:35 am

    This is why I firmly believe it takes a village! Some days I have are good/bad, but even on my bad days, getting out to a playdate/baby group can turn the whole thing around x #kcacols
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  15. October 17, 2016 / 6:51 am

    I’m sure you have more smashing it days!

    I just find I really really desperately want to finish a cup of tea. A whole cup, while it’s still hot. Warm would do!

    My friends don’t understand how I can say i’m always so busy, neither can i really. But I am, always!

    donna recently posted…My Top 10 Weaning TipsMy Profile

  16. October 17, 2016 / 6:56 am

    Oh I hear you! It’s hard in those toddler years and I still have those days with teens too where I just want to not be a parent – sometimes it is so so tough and then all those feelings of guilt hit – constant turmoil. I think the only thing that helps, apart from wine, is the fact that there is the knowledge that others are going through it and we are not alone. Talking about these rubbish days is so good – talking to friends is like therapy for me – escapism! But you’re right – it is the rollercoaster of parenting and we shouldn’t give ourselves too much of a hard time! Hope today is a good day lovely #MarvMondays

  17. October 17, 2016 / 7:23 am

    I couldn’t agree more. Some days things go so well and other days you just want to go back to bed and start again! I can’t imagine how much of a game changer it must be having two but you’re remember you’re killing it at Motherhood – you’re fab! xx #MarvMondays
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  18. October 17, 2016 / 8:30 am

    I’m with you! It would appear that today might just be one of those days in this house too. Mstr Tot has quite literally spent the last 90 minutes screaming hysterically because… I stirred the jam in his porridge. (I know – How very dare I?) I have tried every possibly way to calm him down from cuddles, to sitting on my knee to eat, to me spoon feeding him, to ignoring him and carrying on cleaning up the kitchen, to putting him in time out (sorry – not proud), to throwing the uneaten porridge in the bin and then back to more cuddles. He’s now singing and perfectly happy with his little self. I feel like I need a glass of wine. It’s not even 10am. Virtual hug xx #MarvMondays
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  19. October 17, 2016 / 8:31 am

    So true! It really is a story of two halves. I still have days now when I think I would pay someone to let me go back to work! #MarvMondays

  20. October 17, 2016 / 8:42 am

    You put this so well. Some days can be incredibly difficult – I am currently powering through one of those days right now!

    The Tale of Mummyhood recently posted…A Controlled Crying DiaryMy Profile

  21. October 17, 2016 / 9:00 am

    Oh, yes, these days..They go by so slooowly. You know, what’s great? That we are all the same – moms I mean. Comments like this make you feel less bad about it.We are not robots, just humans. And sometimes we have to re-charge.;)

  22. October 17, 2016 / 9:04 am

    Sorry you’re having a bad day but if its any consolation, I have these days too! Far too often actually! It’s absolutely exhausting being at home with little ones, some days I don’t want to parent, I just want to get back into my bed and sleep!! Keep going mama, you can do this! #MarvMondays
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  23. October 17, 2016 / 9:44 am

    I feel your pain! I’ve only had 2 little ones for a few weeks but I’ve already had a glimpse of how challenging (and also rewarding!) it’s going to be. The baby needs me for most of the day so the toddler plays up to get my attention.. but we got this! #MarvMondays

  24. October 17, 2016 / 9:51 am

    Oh lady I feel you. P hit the slight sleep regression and that already had my wanting to hit the eject button. But then I’d lay in bed at night and feel so ungrateful, like you I know I’ll be desperate for this when I’m back at work. I love this post because it lets us know, it’s okay not to be ok!

    Emily – Babiesandbeauty #marvmondays
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  25. October 17, 2016 / 10:32 am

    We definitely all have those days! JHogg works long hours so I’m usually practically bouncing off the walls by the time he gets home desperate for conversation! Piglet is having difficultly getting to sleep at the moment so we can have a fab day but a 2-3 hour battle at night which ruins it! Tomorrow is always a new day though #marvmondays
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  26. October 17, 2016 / 10:38 am

    I know this feeling! I find that not only being a stay at home mum but also homeschooling my 6 year old there are some days when I just wish I could crawl back into bed and let someone else deal with the day! But on other days, things go so well and we have so much fun that I wish the day wouldn’t end! #MarvMondays
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  27. October 17, 2016 / 10:43 am

    Being home with my daughter is lovely, but so exhausting. I work part-time so some days I’m so happy to be home with her, and others (like today) I’m just counting down the minutes until I go to work in the afternoon and let her dad take over! ๐Ÿ™‚ #marvmondays
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  28. October 17, 2016 / 10:51 am

    It certainly is a rollercoaster! The problem is that you don’t get the recognition from the little ones that you deserve. You don’t get the high fives from work colleagues when you do a good job, the pay rise or the beers after work on a Friday. You just don’t always get much, if anything back. The good days are when you actually DO get something back from them: smiles, cuddles, co-operation and happiness. Keep going – you’re doing an amazing job ๐Ÿ™‚ Alison x #MarvMondays
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  29. October 17, 2016 / 11:58 am

    So true- I could not relate more. I woke up this morning totally stressing over all I had to do as the gremlins whined and ran amuck. Deeeeeep breaths.

    BTW- you have the most perfect eyebrows in the world!
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  30. October 17, 2016 / 11:59 am

    I have days like these probably every other day! But like you, I have started to accept that it’s normal. Some days are tough and some days aren’t so much, and if you look at it like that then it makes those tough days not seem quite so bad; as you know that soon a not not so tough day will come along and give you a little boost!
    I hope you’ve had a few days of smashing it since writing this post.
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  31. October 17, 2016 / 12:00 pm

    Thinking of you on your tough day. I know just how you feel and I only have 1!! You’re quite right that there will be good days and bad days. You’re quite right that we have to compromise. Looking after kids is hard work. Babies demand your attention for their basic needs. Toddlers demand your attention for their whims and fancies. I had to look after Little H for 11 consecutive days when she was unwell with tonsillitis and it was SO hard. I’ve not had her that many days in a row since just before she turned 1 and I was exhausted. You’re doing a grand job coping with 2 and as long as you enjoy ~50% of it then I think you’ve done well for your Mat Leave ๐Ÿ˜‰ #MarvMondays
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  32. October 17, 2016 / 12:23 pm

    There are days I start counting down the minutes until bed time before I’ve even had my first cup of tea. Of course we wouldn’t change it for the world but it can be so, so tough.

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  33. October 17, 2016 / 12:47 pm

    I can imagine, what a box of emotions parenthood is ! #MarvMondays

  34. October 17, 2016 / 2:44 pm

    I have these moments a lot. Your family is beautiful. You’re a seriously hot mama. Thank for the share. We’ve all been there but it helps to read that others relate to what you’re going through.

  35. October 17, 2016 / 4:55 pm

    I totally relate!!! I hate that guilt I feel for feeling like I just cant do it today, it makes it so much worse! #MarvMondays
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  36. October 17, 2016 / 5:11 pm

    I didn’t want to parent today when my little man decided to go from Jekyl to Hyde in a millisecond. And so went the most ridiculous of tantrums known to man along with a mammoth struggle to get him into his car seat whilst listening to him saying ‘I don’t like you anymore Mummy you’re mean!’. Because wanting him safe in his car seat makes me the vilest parent ever. I don’t know how but I kept as cool as a cucumber and secretly patted myself on my back for winning at parenting. If only I could keep this calm throughout every tantrum. We all feel it. We’re all normal and that’s so good to know. #marvmondays
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  37. October 17, 2016 / 6:09 pm

    I love the picture in this post!
    I’m sure everyone has up and down days, mine mostly down days but hey ho! You are doing a great job and no doubt will continue to do so!

  38. October 17, 2016 / 6:13 pm

    #marvmondays totes agree / sometimes I don’t want to adult let alone parent haha, I guess that’s why having my team of loved ones is crucial to my sanity and my little boys existence haha

  39. October 17, 2016 / 7:06 pm

    Parenting is so tough. I find that I go from loving being a mother and adoring my children to the next minute, ripping my hair out and wanting to get in the car and drive miles away. Reading posts like this makes me realise how normal it is to feel that way. #MarvMondays
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  40. October 17, 2016 / 8:11 pm

    I think every parent can relate to this. Some days bedtime just can’t come quick enough and that’s ok, parenting can be hard work and very demanding but the rewards make it all worth while. All we can ever do is our best at any particular moment, even if sometimes our best is making sure they’re fed and ignoring the rest x
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  41. October 17, 2016 / 8:57 pm

    I’m going to share this because every parent can relate to this! Sorry you had a rubbish day. Hope you smash parenting tomorrow #KCACOLS

  42. October 18, 2016 / 5:36 am

    It’s so tough! I agree parenting is really conflicting. What makes it even worse is if I say something my daughter doesn’t like or want I’m the worst person and she doesn’t like me and she screams and shouts but if I get in I get i love my mummy she’s the best. It sucks. Sometimes you just have to take the wins for a bit of peace! #MarvMondays
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  43. October 18, 2016 / 7:29 am

    Such an honest, relatable post. I totally get it, and I only have one child! It’s so jarring when you go from a good parenting day to a bad parenting day, and you just have to push through it and hope for the best. I’m sure you’re doing an amazing job x #KCACOLS
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  44. October 18, 2016 / 9:36 pm

    I’ve had a few days like this lately and my toddler is still with his childminder 4 days a week!! But I’ve had 2 weeks with both of them in the last month and it has been tough, felt frustration, guilt etc too do thanks for sharing and speaking out about it! Xxx
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  45. October 19, 2016 / 3:10 pm

    Parenting is such a rollercoaster, you think you’ve got it & then someone throws a curve ball. I hope recent days have been better for you. #MarvMondays
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  46. October 19, 2016 / 6:54 pm

    You are so right, it is all part of this parenting rollercoaster! I have days when I feel like superman and then there are the other days…. It is a lot tougher than I ever realised sometimes. #MarvMondays
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  47. October 19, 2016 / 11:03 pm

    Definitely good days and bad days being a parent! Hopefully in years to come we’ll only remember the good ones! #KCACOLS

  48. October 20, 2016 / 7:48 pm

    Couldn’t agree more and on those days the guilt is crippling! And on the high five days I don’t high five enough. Rollercoster….#marvmondays

  49. October 21, 2016 / 3:04 pm

    I ;literally feel like this so often! I’m forever saying I don’t want to parent because I can’t deal with the destruction of my 10 literally seconds after I have cleaned a room, or because she doesn’t want to get ready for school it gets really hard at times doesn’t it!
    Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday
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  50. October 22, 2016 / 8:18 am

    Ah, I have those days all the time even though now that my girls are not at home all day anymore! lol I know it sounds awful but since the moment they arrive from nursery/school all the peace that I had during the day is gone and forgotten in just one minute and I wish to have that peace again! lol My evenings have reduced to zero lately as my girls have decided that they won’t go to bed until very late every day! It is so tiring! ๐Ÿ™ I guess it is normal to feel like that because kids are hard work but I won’t change them for the world. Hoping for a better day for you soon! Thanks so much my lovely for joining us at #KCACOLS. It is always a pleasure to have you! ๐Ÿ™‚ x

  51. October 23, 2016 / 6:59 am

    Couldn’t agree more. Some days just don’t work out like you hope and end up with exhaustion and tears. Just gotta focus on the good days coming ๐Ÿ™‚

  52. October 24, 2016 / 9:33 pm

    This is the story of my life! That conflicted feeling is the thing I expected least about becoming a parent but there are some days for sure that just break me. Parenting is the hardest, most thankless and relentless task ever but also one which brings an unfathomable amount of love into your life so is worth it. Some days I don’t know how I’ve made it this far but I would do it all again 100 times to have my little lady in my life xxx #MarvMondays

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