A New Kind of Normal

My Petit Canard New Baby Image

I needn’t have worried. Its true what they say. When you go from one to two, becoming a family of three to four. Your family grows, and just like that your heart expands and you find a new capacity for love. The change is subtle, not earth shattering or overwhelming and suddenly you find a new kind of normal. My days are blissful. Full of a happiness and a contentment that could only come from fuzzy newborn days filled with love and awe.

My days are made up of finding a new kind of patience and a new kind of balance, if there is such a thing. Of finding how to juggle my time and attention between two little people who need and want me in equal and different ways. I look at our daughter and I see a little girl who is so excited about the new baby brother that has come into her life. I don’t think an hour goes by that she doesn’t kiss, cuddle or want to hold him. You can see already that she loves him with all of her little heart. But I also see a little girl who is at times struggling to understand and make sense of our new kind of normal. My heart shattered when I heard the desperate plea in her voice for me to put the baby down when she wanted my attention, and to hear her tell me that she loves me knowing that she was looking for reassurance that I still love her too. Then I look at our son and realise with a profoundness that I didn’t have the first time round, just how precious these little people are. I see his sense of fear of the new world around him and his need to be constantly comforted and reassured, and I realise just how special it is to watch him discovering the world for the very first time. I see with fresh eyes just how vulnerable and precious both my babies are.

The days are chaotic and busy and yet quiet and still. Times when both children need something, and times when both children need nothing, and then there are times when it is just us. The Mr and I looking at each other in amazement that we made these two wonderful little people. But my most favourite of times is in the still of the night, when everyone is asleep and I can just watch the little family that we have made. I was so worried that having another child would upset the precious balance that we had found as a family of three. But becoming a family of four has been the most unexpected and indescribably wonderful thing. It is both harder and easier than it was before, but life is definitely fuller and more complete.

The Pramshed

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32 Comments

  1. Agnieszka
    June 30, 2016 / 3:24 pm

    That is so wonderful,Emily, I am so happy for you! We are still a family of three and I have the exact worries you are describing so it is reassuring to hear you feel this way! I look forward to reading more about your days at home xx

  2. June 30, 2016 / 7:17 pm

    This is the most beautiful post. I love it. I am so thrilled for you. Your little boy is gorgeous and I am so happy that you are finding this new balance a wonderful and exciting adventure. We are not far off ourselves and I just hope that it all goes as smoothly for us. Hugs Lucy xxxx
    Mrs H recently posted…What I wore … for afternoon tea at the savoyMy Profile

  3. July 5, 2016 / 5:59 am

    Beautifully written. I can relate to it all. My 3 year old loves our 3 week old but she is struggling too, much like yours. Hopefully they’ll adjust to the new normal soon. X

    • July 7, 2016 / 10:00 pm

      Its so hard for them isnt it! They really love the little ones, but really struggle with the change to the family dynamics. Hopefully it all becomes normal again for them soon x

  4. July 7, 2016 / 6:26 pm

    Beautifully written with your heart, this kind of writing is always my favourite.
    Enjoy, embrace and now enhanced by four. Sending lots of love X X X

    • July 7, 2016 / 9:56 pm

      Thank you, I really enjoyed writing this post. Seeing our family actually grow from three to four has been one of the most wonderful things and I really wanted to capture that on the blog ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. July 10, 2016 / 12:01 pm

    So lovely, and so true. I think we all worry when we are pregnant with our second, how will I ever love the baby as much as I did our first? But you just do don’t you? You actually develop a stronger love for each and every member of your family because you see the bonds forming and the special relationships between them all and you feel more love than you ever thought possible. Enjoy this time, such precious moments the four of you. #fortheloveofBLOG
    laura dove recently posted…SANDS Summer Soiree, getting my priorities straight.My Profile

    • July 13, 2016 / 11:32 pm

      Thanks lovely. It really is such a special and amazing time. You really do find a new and stronger love as your family gros and now that this little one is here, I cant wait to watch a special bond and relationship grow betweem our little ones. So happy I could burst ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. July 10, 2016 / 7:22 pm

    This is such a lovely post. I worried when we had our daughter as we also have a 12 year old stepson and I had no idea how the dynamic would successfully change. With time, we all adapted to our new roles and are happier than ever and I think that worry was completely natural. Congrats on your new arrival! #fortheloveofBLOG

    • July 13, 2016 / 11:29 pm

      Thanks lovely. So nice to hear that you all adjusted really well as a family to the new dynamics. I guess the unknown worries us all, but for the most part seems to be unfounded ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. July 12, 2016 / 1:08 pm

    Ahh this is lovely – I had exactly the same feelings when my second was born – they soon forget that it used to be ‘just them’ and then before you know it they will be thick as thieves and running rings round you ๐Ÿ™‚ #twinklytuesday
    Mess and Merlot recently posted…Shove your spiralizer โ€“ Iโ€™m older and wiserMy Profile

    • July 13, 2016 / 10:33 pm

      Ha, ha I bet, and I cant wait. It feels like we’re on the start of a really special and magical journey ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. July 12, 2016 / 5:27 pm

    Such a gorgeous post and I was nodding along reading it – 2 is so special. Watching siblings bond is amazing and it gets even better when you see them playing together. #dreamteam
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    • July 13, 2016 / 10:31 pm

      Thanks lovely. I’m so looking forward to seeing the little one grow over the next few months and start to be able to interact with the little lady. As much as she loves and is into him now, I know this is only going to get better and better and I cant wait to see that all unfold. Such a magical time ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. July 14, 2016 / 2:30 am

    Congratulations to you all. Such a beautiful post. We have two little ones and I did find it a big jump. They were both so little; lots of nappies and not much sleep. But it was worth every second!! #bestandworst

  10. July 14, 2016 / 12:09 pm

    Enjoy listening and learning from your little ones so you can find your kind of family normal.ย #TwinklyTuesday
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  11. July 15, 2016 / 5:34 am

    Congratulations! Looking like a little beaut x

  12. July 15, 2016 / 4:23 pm

    This is lovely Emily and I’m so glad it’s better than what you thought it was going to be, and loving being a family of four. It’s so sweet that your daughter is enjoying cuddles with the little man, I’m sure that he will grow up having a fab big sister. Enjoy and treasure every moment of this precious family time. Thanks so much for linking up with us at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x
    The Pramshed recently posted…The Mummy TagMy Profile

  13. July 15, 2016 / 6:37 pm

    Life as a four piece is just perfect right? Everything you dreamt it would be and more. There will be moments, of course, but worth every grey hair xx
    Thanks for linking, he’s beautiful #coolmumclub

  14. July 15, 2016 / 7:54 pm

    Such beautiful words, I can feel your emotions coming. It’s sounds like 2 + 2 is going to suit you all just fine. Congratulations, he’s so lovely. Thank you for linking up to the #DreamTeam xx
    Annette, 3 Little Buttons recently posted…#DreamTeam Linky 11My Profile

  15. July 16, 2016 / 3:44 pm

    Ahhh Emily, I remember the feeling well when Alfie told me to put Elarna down it broke my heart and it was tough but we got through it and you will too – watching their little relationship develop will be a lovely thing, promise. Hope you are getting on ok and thanks for linking up! #bestandworst
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  16. July 18, 2016 / 7:34 am

    I have been told so many times to enjoy it with only one as it gets harder with a second one but I think it is so magical. Once more congratulations, he is just gorgeous! #KCACOLS
    the frenchie mummy recently posted…The Daddy Tag Challenge #TheDaddyTagMy Profile

  17. July 18, 2016 / 10:13 am

    Oh this is so right. People talk about getting back to normal after you’ve had a baby, when in fact there is no going back to be done. As you say, you have to move forward and find a new normal, whatever that might look like. #KCACOLS

  18. July 18, 2016 / 10:54 am

    its always a balancing act with two, but its lovely watching their relationships develop, and you cant believe there was ever a time there was only one! #kcacols

  19. July 18, 2016 / 11:23 am

    This is so gorgeous and really made me think about what is to come in a couple of months time. I am glad that you are finding your new normal, enjoy every moment of discovery! Thanks for linking up with #Twinkly Tuesday

  20. July 19, 2016 / 5:27 am

    Wow such a lovely post. I think, for me, I just didn’t realise how different two people from the same parents could be. The Kid is sensitive, shy and loves to sing and chat to me. The Baby at 22 months still doesn’t talk, but has more patience then her sister and loves anything crafty. Being a min of two hasn’t come way to me but I’m still trying to get there. Lovely post. #KCACOLS

  21. July 19, 2016 / 11:46 am

    Absolutely beautiful post! Congratulations on your sweet, perfect little boy!!
    My son is 15-months-old and I feel like we’re finally, FINALLY settling into a new balance. One where he sleeps through, and Daddy and I are able to have some alone time at night. I honestly can’t imagine how nervous you must feel bringing #2 into the world (as I am nowhere near ready!) but it is so encouraging to hear that the family grows and expands around the new addition. Just the thought of loving another little babe as much as I love my little man is so confusing to my brain. #KCACOLS
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  22. July 20, 2016 / 7:18 am

    May I first say that I’m so sorry to have only just found out about your amazing little man’s arrival! I must have obviously been living under a rock to have missed your amazing news until now. Congratulations Emily. You must be so very proud. This is such a beautiful piece of writing and it captures everything we felt too so perfectly. Lots of love to you all and welcome to the world to your little superstar. Gorgeous xxx
    Rhyming with Wine recently posted…A Soft-Play Rite of Passage… *Sniff*My Profile

  23. July 22, 2016 / 1:38 pm

    Such a lovely post. I remember all these feelings from the early days after my daughter was born. It’s funny how quickly you adjust to your new normal isn’t it! x #KCACOLS
    Madeline (This Glorious Life) recently posted…Living arrows 28/52 and 29/52My Profile

  24. July 25, 2016 / 6:17 am

    Lovely post! I just have one at the moment but I do worry about upsetting his little life with another. We won’t be able to afford to send him to the childminder’s while I am on maternity leave and so he’ll probably lose his place there. He loves it and gets so much out of it, I feel guilty already! #KCACOLS
    Emilie recently posted…Three Days Toddler Free!My Profile

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