Pregnancy the second time round is most definitely different. I seem to constantly lose count of how far along we are. Every time someone asks me I end up giving a guesstimate answer, which is the polar opposite to the first time round when I counted and kept track of every week and every day on multiple apps. This time round I just don’t seem to be able to keep track, not because I don’t care, but I guess because I am more relaxed. I was convinced we were around 15 weeks pregnant this week and have definitely given that figure out, but it turns out that it’s actually week 17. Gulp. How did that happen?
Things have markedly changed since the first trimester when I felt rough all of the time. I’ve finally got to the stage where I hardly feel pregnant and often forget until I want to put something on that doesn’t fit anymore, or bend down and find myself with a horrible case of itchy-itis – what is that all about by the way? Otherwise I count myself pretty lucky, because there are plenty of women who find that those horrible first trimester symptoms never go away.
But whilst I’m fairly relaxed about our pregnancy, the mummy guilt that comes with having more than one child already seems to have kicked in. I cant help but compare how much I did the first time round for the benefit of the little lady compared to how little I feel I am doing this time around. I seem to be building a bit of a mental list of things that I did last time round that I should be doing but havent. For example, I’m terrible at taking tablets but made a real effort to take Pregnacare supplements throughout most of my first pregnancy. This time round I didn’t even manage to take them for the whole of the first trimester. I feel absolutely awful and cant help but worry about whether the baby is getting all the vitamins they need for their development.
Similarly I managed to exercise throughout my whole pregnancy last time, at the gym, with pregnancy exercise DVDs at home and even some pregnancy yoga for good measure. I havent managed to do anything and again feel terrible. It’s definitely harder to make time this time round as there is so much more to juggle with nursery drop offs and picks and everything in between, but making excuses, even legitimate ones don’t make me feel any better.
Then there’s my diet. On the whole it’s actually been quite good. I’ve still been craving quite healthy things like salads and soups at lunch time and fruit when I get peckish late at night. But last time round I made more of a concerted effort to plan my meals in advance and eat more of a balanced range of foods that would help the little lady’s fetal development, like fish. This time round, whilst its been relatively good I don’t feel that its been good enough and again cant help but worry about whether the baby is getting everything they need for their development.
On a more positive note, there is one thing that I am looking forward to experiencing any day now and that is some proper movement. I’m really surprised that I’ve got this far and not felt any real or defined kicks or movement. I’ve had a handful of occasions where I’ve thought I’ve felt some movement, but it’s still really hard to tell whether that’s what it is or whether its, ahem, something else. It’s the one thing I’ve really been looking forward to, so hopefully that’ll change very soon.
One thing that has started to happen recently though, which is really quite magical is the little lady’s little chats with my bump. In the last week or two she seems to have really started to understand that there is a little baby in my tummy and likes to have little chats in the morning, usually to tell it that its time to get up, or in the evening when its time to go to bed and she sings a few nursery rhymes to it. It really is the sweetest thing and melts my heart every time. I love that she is started to grow a little bond with the baby already, although I’m sure it’ll still be a bit of a surprise for her when baby actually arrives.
So on the whole it feels like there is a lot more going on in life than there was when we were pregnant the first time round. I find myself constantly busy and running around between work, nursery and home that it’s hard to pay much thought or attention to all the little milestones and changes in this pregnancy. I hope at some point though I do get to slow down and enjoy it, as we’ll have a baby before we know it at this rate!